For example:
I wanted to be "a designer". A successful one, a sought after and respected visual artist. Of any kind.
I just wanted to spend all my days creating.
As soon as I started, I quickly learned that meant deadlines. It meant my heart and creative instincts had to sync up with my brain immediately-- there was no time to stew and seep in the options.
"PRODUCE art", ya'll.
"Make it now, make it quick and make it fit. "
I do. not. have this all figured out.
In hindsight, it's likely a major reason that I strayed from a career in commercial design very quickly after starting one.
I often talk about my brain as separate from the rest of my body. It's not because I don't love it and respect it and need it. It's because.... honestly, it just tells my fingers when to bend, where to click.
YOUR BRAIN IS NOT IN CHARGE.
It is very good at it's job, directing all of the bodily functions. I'm grateful that it tells me when to drink water... and we need to leave it at that.
I truly used to think that ONLY my brain could be trusted.
Only logic, reason, circumstances, environmental clues. This served me well when I was panicked, but clearly, I was missing something. My heart was telling the truth, I just didn't know what to DO with it.
I do believe that all practical problems can be solved with sound, effective systems.
But what about the problems of the heart? Our hearts are so good at avoiding these systems we try to build around them. Our hearts are elusive, inconsistent, passionate, impulsive, sometimes erratic.
Our hearts act out the MOST when we're not listening. It's like a puppy who needs attention. The more you shut it down, the more annoying and "crazy" our hearts will act.
Oh what a dark, rabbit hole! The more crazy our hearts act, the LESS we want to trust them…. You see the problem here…
How can we create space to listen to our hearts, consistently, before they have to get crazy on us?
What kind of system can the heart accept?
How can we check-in and trust and respond to it, regularly, so we can strike a rhythmic relationship between heart and brain?
So we may find this thing people call "contentment"… a steadiness we can live with; loving and logical at the same time.
Keep practicing. xo, Alyssa
Comments